Every person in this world have different mentality, they have different tastes and opposite habits- no one is alike.
When after marriage you have a joint family system, you come across many different school of thoughts, which are not up to your mark but you bare them, but when it comes to your child’s upbringing it becomes quite difficult for you to groom him.
A child learns from the environment , if the surroundings are contrary to your thoughts it becomes very difficult for you to bring up your child.
In Pakistan marriage is about two whole families and family matters a lot so being separated is not the solution, We have listed out some solutions and have given you some advices that will help you mothers to bring up a child in such an environment.
1. Time:
Having a child is a great responsibility on the shoulders of parents, but mothers play the most essential part in the life of a child by upbringing them in the right way. It’s very necessary for a child to get full attention and time from her mother. When you have a child its your responsibility to give him time and attention when he needs.
2. Don’t put your responsibility on others:
Being a mother is a painful and a all time duty. It is a normal to get tired and fed up. Don’t let others baby sit your child. Babies need love and affection. They always are attached and call out for people who are always there for them, and remember, that will not be you. So always be there for him when he needs you.
3. Teach by repeating:
There are a lot of kids in joint family all have different habits or different nature. Always keep a vigilant eye on your child, if he/she is adapting bad habits because of them stop him there and then, tell your baby again and again not to do this, so that he would get mindful that it is something bad and not good for him, this will help him in avoiding bad habits and bad manners.
4. Be Mindful of Language:
Babies are quick learners, if family members speak some uncommon language ( Rebukes, harsh words, a language you don’t want to teach your child) Then simply talk to that person that you don’t want this language be used in front of your child or with your child, if that person is sensible he/she would understand but if not then a fuss would be created so simply don’t let your child speak it. If you cannot stop others engage your child in other activities and tell him the difference between right and wrong.
It can be hard and stressful when you are very mindful of your child’s upbringing and the environment is totally against you, don’t freak out try to solve it out indulge the good self in your child.
It doesn’t mean that you should keep your child in isolation or don’t let your child talk to someone else, this will make you an extremist and your child will gain a lot of negativity. The child would either think that he/she is superior or will become “A – social” introvert and lonesome, and none of it is healthy.
–Fatima Ali